ROMEO clubs across America are serving up more than just meals—they’re offering a lifeline to retired men who face increasing isolation and loneliness in their later years.
At a Glance
- ROMEO (Retired Old Men Eating Out) clubs provide a no-pressure social outlet for retired men to combat loneliness through regular shared meals
- These grassroots organizations typically have no formal rules, dues, or rigid structure—just a focus on food, friendship, and fun
- Social isolation is a significant health risk for older men, who have the highest suicide rates among those 75+ in the U.S.
- Regular social interaction through programs like ROMEO can help reduce health risks including high blood pressure, heart disease, and cognitive decline
- The success of these clubs demonstrates that men need social connection despite stereotypes suggesting they are naturally self-reliant
The ROMEO Movement: Informal Connections with Powerful Results
ROMEO clubs have flourished across America for decades, operating on a remarkably simple premise: give retired men a regular opportunity to share a meal together. These grassroots groups typically emerge spontaneously, often founded by men who recognize the vital importance of maintaining social connections after retirement. What makes these clubs particularly appealing is their deliberate lack of formality—there are rarely official rules, membership dues, or any central organizing authority.
According to the history documented on the ROMEO Club website, these gatherings embrace what they call the “3 F’s: Food, Friendship, and Fun.” This approach resonates strongly with retired men who appreciate the low-pressure environment that mirrors the casual workplace relationships they often miss after retirement. When an Arizona club attempted to create a central database, they discovered over 100 ROMEO Clubs operating independently across the country.
Addressing a Hidden Health Crisis Among Older Men
The growing popularity of ROMEO clubs addresses a serious but often overlooked health issue. Men over 75 have the highest suicide rates in the United States, with social isolation identified as a major contributing factor. Despite these statistics, there’s a persistent stereotype that men are naturally self-sufficient and don’t require social support—a perception that organizations like the Maine Council on Aging and NAMI Maine actively work to dispel.
In Harpswell, Maine, a volunteer organization called Harpswell Aging at Home recognized this issue and created their own ROMEO lunch program. The impact has been remarkable, with approximately 55 men regularly attending. These gatherings often include speakers on practical topics like avoiding scams or hobby interests like photography, providing both social connection and useful information for attendees.
Beyond Meals: The Health Benefits of Social Connection
The physical and mental health benefits of programs like ROMEO extend far beyond simple companionship. Research links loneliness and social isolation to serious health conditions including high blood pressure, heart disease, and accelerated cognitive decline. For aging men, these social connections can be as important to overall health as proper nutrition and medical care.
Nutrition itself becomes more challenging with age, as physiological changes can lead to reduced appetite and nutrient deficiencies. Shared meals in a social setting like ROMEO lunches can encourage better eating habits while simultaneously providing the critical social interaction that supports mental health. The combination delivers multiple health benefits through a single enjoyable activity.
Creating Connections Without Pressure
What makes ROMEO clubs particularly effective is their deliberate avoidance of the “support group” label. As Tom Mahoney noted in an NPR interview, calling it a support group would immediately signal vulnerability, deterring many men from participating. Instead, these groups focus on the universal enjoyment of sharing a meal, with the therapeutic benefits occurring naturally through conversation and companionship.
Some ROMEO gatherings incorporate simple conversation starters to boost participation. As Charles Alexander from a Park Springs ROMEO group shared, “Every now and then we ask what was the most embarrassing thing that happened in your life.” These lighthearted prompts help break the ice and create meaningful connections without the pressure of formal therapy or structured support sessions. The success of these groups demonstrates that social connection can be delivered effectively when packaged in an appealing, low-pressure format.
